I'll respond to both John and Nicholas in this. I don't consider God to be male or female any more than I consider a ship to be female. Such are conventions of speaking. I often refer in my posts to the creator as he/she/it but, other than being awkward, even that bothers me because it suggests gender which, again, I don't agree with. You suggest for somewhat scientific reasons that I refer to the creator as she. I have no problem with that other than to again call attention to the gender issue. And when you go against convention, it can distract from the main point. If there is any way around this dilemma without the references distracting from the major points to be made (as they certainly have done here) I'd be grateful for your suggestion.

I am very sorry about your sister and step mother, their suffering and the impact on you. The issue of God answering prayer and not answering it is a very difficult one. I have no answer to the question of why your family's prayers were not answered, at least in the way in which they were intended. I responded to a similar comment by a reference to C.S. Lewis who I think gives one of the best answers to this difficult question (and if you want to see a Christian struggling with grief, anger and confusion, I suggest reading Lewis' A Grief Observed.

Nicholas, I'm wondering where you think I have claimed ownership of God? It appears that you believe that by suggesting attributes of God I am claiming ownership. Is that right? Then that must be what all theologians do (I am very much an amateur at the theology thing.) However, I don't think it is out of line once you have concluded there is an intention behind creation, as I do, to want to try and learn more and rationally consider just what the intention was and who was the intender. That is what thinking humans have done ever since they contemplated the sky and stars and wondered what it was all about. We'd do the same if we came across strong evidence that some intelligent life left a calling card in the universe.

As for support for attributes being true, I would suggest that if you consider the intelligence, will and power of some being able to bring the universe into existence, then how is it such a stretch to say this being might have some control over things like birth, death and even immortality? Creating the universe seems to me to be a pretty big deal so some of these things that you find obstacles seem relatively minor in the light of creation.