Thanks Jeff, I appreciate the comments. You sense a tension between hope and belief. It seems that tension is quite natural. Aren’t there things that you believe are true, but don’t know for certain but because they relate to some benefits to you you hope they are true. And since you are not absolutely certain, there is tension? I might use the example of the “promissory materialism” of those who believe that the emergence of life is totally due to natural and not supernatural causes, and they hope that sooner or later scientists will find the solution to this deep mystery. Or the promissory materialism that hopes science can show how the brain produces our minds, consciousness and thoughts. Brian Greene is one physicalist who admitted the search so far had not produced the expected results but that he believed it would and certainly hoped it would. I sense some tension there, don’t you?

I use these examples because your response would likely be: ah, more God of the gaps. I wrote about my problems with this all-too-easy response when the idea of God is mentioned: https://medium.com/top-down-or-bottom-up/the-god-of-the-gaps-accusation-and-the-end-of-science-dbb39375814f

Promissory science can be called “science of the gaps.” One of the greatest examples in my mind of this science of the gaps is the multiverse theory posed as a solution to the fine tuning of the universe for life. How can one explain the absolutely astounding “coincidences” of all the different factors that had to come together in precisely the right way for our universe to produce us? Chance or design are the only alternatives. But, chance requires a near infinity of chances. Hence, there are a great many “failed” universes out there. Do you believe that? Do you know that for certain? If you do not want to believe that a creator God exists, then you must hope that answer is true. And if you do indeed hope for the multiverse, is there some tension in the realization you do not know for certain?

You suggest your inclination leans against belief. I’ll be honest and say that often mine does as well. The content of belief in a God who creates and sustains is sometimes seemingly absurd and ridiculous. Then I look at the alternatives. Even more absurd and irrational. Hence I have no problem with a rational belief even while observing that the God I believe exists and whom I worship remains largely hidden from my view.